Wanna Be on TV?

I can get you on TV. Really, I have connections.

AAD is now read by people in at least three non-adjacent zip codes, in different states, at least one of which I'm pretty sure contains no family or friends. I am, in other words, a nationally recognized online personality. I have entered a new world of connections, opportunities and influence. I like to think of myself as the P-Diddy of stay-at-home dad bloggers. 

What this means is that I get a lot of offers from other online entities to join them in spreading the word about great new websites, projects and products. It's like interactive junk mail.

But it's exclusive junk mail. 

Those of you with ordinary email accounts may get CONFIDENTIAL requests for partnership in the SUPREME LOVE and TRUST of Christ from the Bereaved Widow of the Dear Departed Dr. Samuel J. Cheneebee, Former ASSISTANT UNDER-SECRETARY for the Burkina Faso Department of Parks and Recreation. But you don't get asked to promote revolutionary new products, like a heads-up iPhone display that allows you to read AAD while driving on the freeway. 

Not all of it's junk. Sometimes I'm approached by legitimate sites that contain useful information. Sometimes I'm approached by legitimate sites that contain useful information and give me ribbons, like the one I got from the awesome folks at guidetoonlineschools.com, who, being the awesome folks they are, named me in their Top 50 Dad Blogs list. That is so cool, I love getting ribbons. They also put "We love Affirmative Action Dad!" in the subject line. I'm a sucker for flattery.

I'm savvy enough to know that while the awesome folks at guidetoonlineschools.com may sincerely like what I write, their primary motivation is to spread their weblink (guidetoonlineschools.com) to as many sites as they can. But that's fine with me. After all, guidetoonlineschools.com did post a link to my site on theirs, which, by the way, you should check out at guidetoonlineschools.com

When I started this site I vowed I would never compromise my integrity by shilling for people who didn't offer me something in return. Beyond that, I'm open to anything. I figure my regular readers will understand, since they (should) know to take anything I say with a grain of salt. If a big banner advertising Marlboro Lights were to show up on my homepage, I trust you would know that I would never let my kids smoke in bed. That's just not safe. 

Generally speaking, however, most of the "offers" I get are just requests to post something for free. If it's from a cool website I'd visit on my own, maybe. Former heads of state (as opposed to mere assistant under-secretaries) living in exile looking to get a message out to their supporters? You bet. But most are from people who, clearly, haven't read my site. If they had, they'd know they were setting themselves up for mockery. At this point I have at least month's worth of material.  

So with this in mind, let me tell you about the best pitch I've gotten so far--from Hollywood, no less! 

About a month ago, an LA "casting associate," Judy, wrote me about a "groundbreaking new docu series called Time Out." It’s about people "who find it a challenge to maintain a healthy balance between their family and work lives." She also emphasized that it is "a very family friendly, positive show for a new network."  

They are looking for "families with an overworked parent and could use more time with their kids." She assured me that "our goal is to help as many families as possible, giving them the chance to balance their work life and home life so they can create an even stronger family bond." Would I be interested in getting more information and promoting this to my readers?

Heck yes! 

"Work-life balance" is a serious topic in legitimate parenting/family journalism. It's big news. So here I was, totally jazzed that I might have found a way to get my foot in the door of serious tele-journalism. My shot at the big time! I could make connections, get to know the producers. My head swam with fantasies of appearances on The View, interviews in Oprah, my own series on Lifetime, and (dare I dream?) a spread in Cosmo! I've never responded to an email so quickly. 

The words "reality show" or "publicly humiliating ambush intervention" never entered my mind, until I got the official casting call flyer. Duuoohh! 

Casting Call for "TimeOut":
Is your spouse a workaholic?
Has your spouse ever missed major milestones in your kids' lives?
Do you miss having dinner as a family?
Do your kids always complain that you or your spouse is never home or available?
Is it hard for your spouse to put the computer or cell phone down and enjoy family time?
Are you ready for your spouse to put your family life first and create the balance you need to raise a happy, healthy family?  
We are looking for families who:
Live in Southern California.
Have a minimum of 2 children between the ages of 7-17.
Have a workaholic parent that needs a new perspective on life.
Families with expressive and opinionated children who have a strong reaction to their parents' overwhelming responsibilities at work.

Family friendly, positive show? Getouttaheah! All you have to look at is the last line: "expressive and opinionated children who have a strong objection..." That, and the fact that they're looking for LA families. Nothing says entertainment like insolent, messed-up LA kids. I doubt they will have trouble filling their schedule. 

To be fair, I did tell my new friend in Hollywood, Judy, that I'd post her link. And I don't want to burn any bridges; you never know when Dr. Phil might need you. So if you're interested, by all means give Judy a call. Just make sure to tell her I sent you. Oh, and if you can, throw in a good word for those awesome folks at guidetoonlineschools.com.




Please include your name, address, occupation, contact phone numbers, email addresses, a recent photograph of you and your family, and a brief summary of how the workaholic parent has effected [sic] the family dynamic. For more information, please contact MysticArt Pictures at 818.563.4131 or visit www.mysticartpictures.com.

Judy Lee

Casting Associate

Time Out Casting


Copyright 2013 Paul J. Rasmussen