Realistic High School Awards
Unsung High School Heroes
Every June, high school students honor their peers with awards like best athlete, most school spirit, best dressed and most likely to succeed. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. Like Darwin and Linnaeus, high schoolers catalog …
Lantry Country Day Auction 2013
Highlights from last Friday's wicked-awesome school fundraiser
Fur Coat and Leather Sectional Package — $8000
Look what fell off the back of the truck this year! Lantry dad and discount merchandise acquisition consultant Paul "Pauly T" Testaforte has put together yet another fabulous luxury goods package. …
Playground Gangs
5 elementary schools gangs all parents need to know about
Most parents have heard of high-profile schoolyard crews like the Shady Grove Gossip Queens and the Kickball Titans. But there are a number of lesser-known gangs that also threaten to turn any school yard into a killing zone. …
Sesame Street, NPR and the F-Bomb
Excuse me Ernie, I didn't quite catch that
TV and computers are like cough medicine: they do a great job keeping your kids quiet, you just don't want other people, especially their teachers, to know how much you give them. You don't want to undo all the hard work you've put into maintaing the facade of a conscientious parent.
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Choosing the Right Prison
Forget what you've seen in the movies.
High school seniors, it's time to start planning for your future. June will be here before you know it. So what's it going to be? College, trade school, the military? All fine choices...
If you're a punk.
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Camp Small Hands
Where Tiny Fingers Make the Tightest Knots
School will be out soon. The kids will need something to do. It's time to think about summer camp. I do not harbor romantic notions of unstructured summer vacations where kids just get to be kids, running wild around the cul-de-sac like a bunch of Kool-Aid fueled savages. …
Two Reasons Not to Like Halloween
Some people are always trying to kill the fun.
There are many reasons not to like Halloween. The top two? Pirates and trick-or-treating.
I don't know why so many adults insist on dressing up as pirates for Halloween. I don't care for pirates--not even slutty lady-pirates--because with pirates comes pirate talk. …
Boys in Pigtails, Parents on Mars
Surprise! People have hang ups about boys in pink dresses.
Amy Chua is yesterday's news. Fortunately, the controversial-parent vacuum has been filled--by Canadians, no less! Toronto couple Kathy Witterick and David Stocker are making headlines…
Special Gifts For a Special Lady
Goddess is alive and magic is about!
I don't know what my wife bought to get on this mailing list, but I'm glad she did. The catalogue is called The Pyramid Collection. It has is all: Myth, Magick (that's how insiders spell magic), Fantasy and Romance. …
Auction Fever!
Some items that did not make it into the "official" auction handbook
Dear Parents,
As you know, Lantry Country Day's Annual Fundraising Auction is just a week away and I want to pass on some last-minute information from the auction committee. …
Cheating on the SATs
College entrance exam crime syndicate busted!
Police on Long Island have arrested seven kids for cheating on the SAT college entrance exam. Six high-school students allegedly paid 19-year-old Emory University wiz Sam Eshaghoff (the charming lad to your right) up to $2500 to take the SATs for them using fake IDs.
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Is College Worth It?
To put it another way, why am I so darn interesting?
The cost of a four-year college degree, at both public and private institutions, is growing at an unsustainable rate. I don't really know how inflation works, but I know that $43,000 a year (room and board extra) is ridiculous, especially if you graduate not really knowing how inflation works. …
Cool Tunes for Young Hipsters
From Boccherini to Bauhaus: My kid's playlist is cooler than yours.
The first music I bought on my own was AC/DC's Back in Black. (You can keep your comments to yourself, thank you very much.) I didn't know anything about the band except that the degenerate eighth-graders at the back of the bus always talked about them. …
Music to Keep The Romance Alive
Nick Ashford, a banjo and a married couple walk into therapy...
August 22nd saw the passing of Nick Ashford. Ashford and his wife Valerie Simpson co-wrote some of Motown's greatest hits, including "Reach Out and Touch (Somebody's Hand)" and "You're All I Need to Get By."…